"Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life just sucks."
Sorry for assuming you had ulterior motives then! [lifts brows] I’m sorry, you have a whisk in there? Do you do a lot of whisking? How is that bag not breaking your back? Is it heavy or does it weigh the same as a normal bag? What an impressive charm! [laughs] Well, he took them off flying. They probablt thought they were dreaming the whole time, didn’t even occur to them that they’d need their sensible shoes.
Oh no that’s alright, I wasn’t even aware that people do that. A whisk, yeah. I don’t like the whisks that the house elves use, the handles are made of wood and they give me splinters and since I do a lot of baking I thought hey I’ll just buy my own! Oh no that’s all part of the charm it’s just like carrying a normal bag, I could do it to yours if you’d like? It’s one of the only charms I’ve nailed perfectly. Flitwick was very proud of me, he casted little fireworks in the common room in celebration for me! I don’t know, even if I were dreaming I think I’d eventually realise how bad of an idea it was to wear slippers and I don’t think Tinkerbell would be up for magicing the kids up some better shoes.
It’s good to know that someone else in the world shares my opinion that the title of king suits me. A shame monarchs have no real power now or I would certainly aim to be one. I would have made excellent royalty back when being royalty mattered, wouldn’t you agree? I don’t see what’s in it for you, mais d’accord, that sounds much more favorable on my part. You have a deal.
Well I must admit a crown could look very good on you. Yeah, sure. Well I get to bake so that’s the upside for me. I thought it might. Alright so we have a deal! Eden took his hand and started leading him to the kitchens. Would you prefer to make cookies or cakes?
They are! Though I’m not entirely sure this one is very reasonable. Yes! He’s called Ringo. I’d tell him to say hi but you know, we’re not using the right equipment and we could end up dead.
Oh no, there’s no need for him to say hello. Ringo? You like The Beatles? I do love it when I meet another Beatles fan. So I’m guessing Ringo is your favourite then or did you call it him because it’s the most catchy?
Right, Nargles. Should’ve known. You sure no students were involved in taking your stuff? I didn’t think Nargles collected shoes or dresses…
Who would be as cruel to do such a thing? Oh Nargles just take whatever you’ll miss I would say. But even then I don’t think they do it to be cruel I think it’s just in their nature unfortunately. Unfortunate for me anyway, I hope they’re enjoying my favourite dress.
I do. Do things for others, that is. I help my cousin sometimes, for instance. It’s all very altruistic. I don’t see the point in this exercise. You’re saying I should take time out of my day to slave away in the kitchens like a common house elf just so that I can give away what I create like a common house elf? Perhaps I didn’t establish this, but to clarify, I am not a house elf. Nor a goblin— nor a goblin king, though I am glad to hear that I’ve at least moved up in goblin society. I’ll bake with you, gladly, on the condition that we sell whatever we bake for profit.
Now there’s no need to compare yourself to a house elf just because I’m suggesting we do a bit of baking. Yes well I thought the status of king might suit you better. Ok, how’s this. If afterwards we give what you baked away and you don’t feel satisfied with the reaction of the receiver then I will pay you ten galleons and bake you another batch of those white chocolate and raspberry cookies just because I appreciate that you tried. How does that sound?
Oh, yes, of course. Someone else’s happiness is more than enough to make up for the effort it takes me to be pleasant. I can’t believe I never considered before that kindness might be its own reward. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Never again will I seek to earn anything for my hard work, because clearly that’s evil and selfish. It goes without saying that I haven’t baked before. I’m not some sort of servant. Why do you ask— am I supposed to bake?
That was an awful lot of sarcasm you just used right there. Why not just try out doing things for others and see how you like it? You can still do stuff for your own outcomes. No but we’re going to bake and then when we’re done we’re going to give the cake or biscuits or whatever it is we you want to make away to someone and you’ll see the smile on their face that you’re hard work did and I think then you may understand where i’m coming from and if you don’t we can just drop it and I’ll let you continue in your goblin king ways.
Sure, don’t mention it. Stolen? By whom?
Nargles of course! They just love messing with me! I cant tell you how many pairs of shoes I’ve lost to those pesky little things. Oh and not to mention my favourite tea dress.
I would be pleasant for your sake, but so far you haven’t shown me that there’s anything to be gained in that. No, pray tell, how could you help me? I’d happily accept your offer if I thought it was worth something. Empty headed. Have you never heard the phrase before? You can’t possibly think that much for all the talking.
Not everything you do has to have an outcome, Gaspard. Sometimes our acts can influence those around us which can be just as rewarding. Such as you being pleasant would make me feel a lot less depressed. Alright, wow I didn’t think you’d be up for it but ok. Have you ever baked before? No I haven’t, I suppose you may have a point.
Yes, well, your mind was wrong to associate me with them. Goblins are unsociable, rude, selfish creatures at the best of times, while I’m generally pleasant to be around when I so intend to be. At least, I should hope I am. Otherwise what’s the point of intending to be? I’ll forgive you, but only because I’m feeling particularly generous in light of your exceptionally absent mind. I suppose you can’t help having an empty head.
Well maybe you could intend to be a little more pleasant just for my sake? If you find it hard to be pleasant I can always try and help you if you want but you probably don’t want my help at all so I don’t know why i’m offering. I’m not absent minded, theres so much going on in my mind that I can hardly keep my mouth shut how on earth does that make me absent minded? Empty… what the.. I don’t- huh?